This morning I was a impatient with my daughter as we were trying to get her dressed for school. While we were struggling with the last bit of her uniform, she promised to do better tomorrow morning. Without thinking I replied: "Don't promise, just do." In hindsight I was a bit too harsh, but we will running out of time and I lost my cool.
The phrase "don't promise, just do" got me thinking. As leaders we find it hard to say "no", so by saying "yes" all the time we in inadvertently make promises we might not be able to keep. These promises applies unnecessary pressure on our daily lives which results in us loosing our cool.
How can we avoid this situation? It's not easy. It takes time, as you have to re-program your mind and then the mind of those around you. Let's explore a few options:
The phrase "don't promise, just do" got me thinking. As leaders we find it hard to say "no", so by saying "yes" all the time we in inadvertently make promises we might not be able to keep. These promises applies unnecessary pressure on our daily lives which results in us loosing our cool.
How can we avoid this situation? It's not easy. It takes time, as you have to re-program your mind and then the mind of those around you. Let's explore a few options:
- Try to say "no" more often, but always put the "no" in context, so that the "no" has real meaning. I recently tried this and it worked. I was asked to spend a day away from the office that would have taken me away from my priorities. I articulated why I cannot commit to the day away and everybody understood.
- When you do promise, make sure you manage expectations well. Tell the other person when and how you will do what you promised to do. The key here is to keep them updated - all the time until the promise is delivered.
- Schedule time in your diary to work on the promise. What you schedule normally gets done. It doesn't work all the time, but I am finding that it works most days.
- Check in with your priorities. Your priorities are driven by your objectives and ultimately by your vision. Ensure that your promises are aligned to your priorities. If not, go back to number 1 above and say "no".